It begins: FET

Today I went and got my PIO shot to kick off our FET. It was a little odd being there with my son, surrounded by patients who are still waiting for their baby. I remember being annoyed at those people when we were in the middle of treatment. Oh well - hindsight, right?

I saw women who had clearly just finished their egg retrieval looking like they were wading through molasses, still not fully conscious. Annoyed husbands who were put out, uncomfortable, stressed, probably angry that they were shelling out so much money for what can feel like a total gamble. Then there were the husbands who were every bit as excited and hopeful and invested as their wives. Older couples. Young couples. My heart broke a little for each of them and I said a silent prayer that they would all get those babies that they were sacrificing and hoping for so much.

It felt a little like coming home, though. We had to wait a little longer than normal since they were so short staffed due to the holidays, but Cade was an angel and every clinical person who saw him talked about how perfect and adorable he was and how it makes them feel just so GREAT to meet the babies they were so involved with. To an outsider that probably sounds like lip service, but I can promise that these people meant it. They are 100 percent aware of how miraculous it is and grateful their patients are for the total gift of parenthood. Several of them are/were/will be fertility patients also, so they understand every emotion and worry of the process. We don't take it for granted, neither do they. I love, love LOVE that they recognize just how monumental these babies are and share so much in our joy.

Anyways, I got my PIO shot to kick off the cycle. From there, I call on day 1, order meds, and then start bloodwork, estradiol, and ultrasounds on day 2. I'm not exactly sure how it will roll out from there but it should only be a couple of weeks after that to transfer.

I'm excited. I feel good about getting started again. I've had some worries, doubts, and concerns about doing this with Cade. I've felt a bit like I'm shortchanging him and I don't know why. At the heart of it, though, is that we feel we are ready to expand our family and want so badly to give him a built-in best friend. It just felt "right" to be there today and I know that we're on the right path.