I'm the worst at blogging.
This last week, Cade turned 18 months. This is such a fun age, his personality is coming out in full force and he is so full of LIFE. The best way I could possibly describe him is undeterrably curious. He must try everything.
He's working on his words, too - his favorite word is "no." But he also has his favorite foods nailed (crackers, cookies, bananas, and berries). I promise I feed him real food. He can also say, "Do this", "Good girl", "Bye", "Hello", "Ball", "Tractor", "Car", "Basketball", "Get you", "Airplane", "Car", "Uh Oh" (whenever he needs help), "Oh no", "All done", and some other things I can't recall right now.
He loves animals, big machinery, being outside, eating, and
ALSO in the last week, we moved. That totally wreaked havoc on his sleep schedule and little body in general, but he's adjusting well and finally coming back to my happy little boy. I think he feels like he lost a lot of independence and free reign, and it made me feel so bad because I could just see him craving comfort and familiarity. It's hard when you can't explain WHY his whole life just changed.
And another ALSO, I'm 13.5 weeks pregnant and totally lost my milk this week so he had to wean on top of it all. That's a mixed bag of emotions for me, I've absolutely loved nursing and the bonding that brought, not to mention it was the easiest and always available comfort for any problem - night time wakeup, meltdown, hunger, or just a need for a snuggle. 18 months was a good ride, a lot longer than I originally thought we'd make it but at this point, not as long as I had hoped we would (2 years was what I was shooting for). It seemed like it would be a good way to help him transition to a new sibling, but we'll work it all out. In any case, I'm grateful that we were able to enjoy that for as long as we did and for all of the beautiful moments and difficult times it helped us through. I honestly don't know how we would have survived this cold and flu season without it.
I'm so grateful to be this spunky, energetic little boy's mom. He teaches me so much every day, I'm learning more patience and 90% of my waking brain is focused on how to help him grow and learn and adjust and honestly feeling like I'm failing at it a lot of the time. I figure, though, that as long as I'm doing my best and he feels important and loved, then I'm doing the right thing.
Wednesday, April 25, 2018
Wednesday, February 28, 2018
Ahem ahem...
I'm pregnant! The FET worked and went as FLAWLESSLY as I could have ever hoped.
Seriously - I thought our IVF round went well, but this was as stress-free (3 total appointments? really!?) and easy as they come. It was also really helpful to have a busy toddler keep my mind off of time passing and keep my from obsessing as much (there was still too much obsessing and 20 pregnancy tests involved, but still).
We transferred on Feb 9th, and by the 14th I got a clear positive. I knew I was pregnant, because I had some pretty crazy back cramps and my stomach was immediately off. After the first week, all of that subsided and now I'm just crampy on and off and a little tired. It's still early, so I'm enjoying feeling super normal right now.
This whole experience has felt very divinely led. There were a lot of variables that caused a fair amount of anxiety, research and prayer for me. Everything worked out and I just put 100% faith that since we felt very impressed not to waste time and expand our family, even with the absolute craziness of this year (we're putting our house on the market next week, starting a business, and a few other things I'm not at liberty to talk about) that everything would be ok. I can't even begin to describe my gratitude at having this transfer work.
After transfer, I went and holed up in my room for 5 hours. I wanted to avoid hoisting around my son for a while and just give everything a chance to settle down especially since I opted out of vallium. After that, I took it as easy as I could but was pretty much back to normal life by the next morning since Jeff was away working on a project. I carried Cade, went shopping, etc etc. My sweet mother in law had prepared an entire dinner for us on the day of transfer so I didn't have to cook, and we ended up having leftovers for the next two days which allowed me to rest a little more. Such a blessing.
Anyways, this baby is due October 28, which will put almost exactly 2 years between our babies which is super ideal for me. Hopefully, they'll be close enough in age to be friends as they grow older, and it gives us a solid 2 years to have gotten our minds around parenting (will I ever feel like an expert? No. No I will not) and love on our boy. I'm definitely a little emotional when it comes to considering that my boy will have to share my attention but I'm SO excited for another little.
Seriously - I thought our IVF round went well, but this was as stress-free (3 total appointments? really!?) and easy as they come. It was also really helpful to have a busy toddler keep my mind off of time passing and keep my from obsessing as much (there was still too much obsessing and 20 pregnancy tests involved, but still).
We transferred on Feb 9th, and by the 14th I got a clear positive. I knew I was pregnant, because I had some pretty crazy back cramps and my stomach was immediately off. After the first week, all of that subsided and now I'm just crampy on and off and a little tired. It's still early, so I'm enjoying feeling super normal right now.
This whole experience has felt very divinely led. There were a lot of variables that caused a fair amount of anxiety, research and prayer for me. Everything worked out and I just put 100% faith that since we felt very impressed not to waste time and expand our family, even with the absolute craziness of this year (we're putting our house on the market next week, starting a business, and a few other things I'm not at liberty to talk about) that everything would be ok. I can't even begin to describe my gratitude at having this transfer work.
After transfer, I went and holed up in my room for 5 hours. I wanted to avoid hoisting around my son for a while and just give everything a chance to settle down especially since I opted out of vallium. After that, I took it as easy as I could but was pretty much back to normal life by the next morning since Jeff was away working on a project. I carried Cade, went shopping, etc etc. My sweet mother in law had prepared an entire dinner for us on the day of transfer so I didn't have to cook, and we ended up having leftovers for the next two days which allowed me to rest a little more. Such a blessing.
Anyways, this baby is due October 28, which will put almost exactly 2 years between our babies which is super ideal for me. Hopefully, they'll be close enough in age to be friends as they grow older, and it gives us a solid 2 years to have gotten our minds around parenting (will I ever feel like an expert? No. No I will not) and love on our boy. I'm definitely a little emotional when it comes to considering that my boy will have to share my attention but I'm SO excited for another little.
Saturday, January 27, 2018
February FET
In a completely organic sequence of events, we found ourselves in the opportune situation to start an FET protocol so on Tuesday of this week I went in for my CD2 appointment and everything via bloodwork and ultrasounds looked great. The saline sonogram went beautifully, what they had originally thought was a fibroid tumor during Cade's pregnancy they couldn't find a single trace of, so we got the all clear to move forward.
The FET protocol is so simple and straight forward - I started taking estradiol twice a day, today went to get levels checked to see if we need to do any adjusting, and next week I go on Friday to get a lining check and bloodwork to make sure everything's coming along properly. According to our plan at this time, transfer date should be February 9th and then beta day will be the 23rd, exactly 2 years from the day we transferred Cade. SO MANY fewer appointments compared to our fresh IVF that involved going in every day to every other day.
It's a blessing, because the day I should have called to make the appointments I was SO. SICK. Sicker than I've been in recent memory. I was so excited to have the potential to start our protocol but just could not feel good about bringing in germs to share with the staff and other patients, so I made the decision to hold off and see if I was doing better the next day in hopes that it wouldn't be too late. If so, I would believe that it was our sign that we should go for it, and if not, that was a higher power telling us that it wasn't the right time. Miracle of miracles (and after a blessing), I woke up the next morning feeling a million times better, and the doctor was able to squeeze me in two hours later. All in all, I feel like we've been really blessed that we were able to get started.
I'm a worrywart by nature and analyze everything. It honestly feels like I look for things to stress and worry about, so I've already made the decision to just let it be. Worrying about this cycle won't change the outcome, but it will make me a lot less happy. So I'm choosing to be optimistic, give it my best effort, and be hopeful that everything works out positively.
I was really open about sharing information on social media with our previous IVF cycle for a lot of reasons, the biggest one being it was the easiest way to keep our families in the loop since so many of them were emotionally invested with us and praying for us. This time, I've wanted it to be a little more private. There won't be a whole lot of updates, but I'm sure I'll share about the transfer and of course the outcome.
Prayers that I will respond positively to the medications, that we will have a favorable outcome, and that we will be mentally and emotionally "ok" whichever way this goes would be appreciated.
Here's to a sibling!
The FET protocol is so simple and straight forward - I started taking estradiol twice a day, today went to get levels checked to see if we need to do any adjusting, and next week I go on Friday to get a lining check and bloodwork to make sure everything's coming along properly. According to our plan at this time, transfer date should be February 9th and then beta day will be the 23rd, exactly 2 years from the day we transferred Cade. SO MANY fewer appointments compared to our fresh IVF that involved going in every day to every other day.
It's a blessing, because the day I should have called to make the appointments I was SO. SICK. Sicker than I've been in recent memory. I was so excited to have the potential to start our protocol but just could not feel good about bringing in germs to share with the staff and other patients, so I made the decision to hold off and see if I was doing better the next day in hopes that it wouldn't be too late. If so, I would believe that it was our sign that we should go for it, and if not, that was a higher power telling us that it wasn't the right time. Miracle of miracles (and after a blessing), I woke up the next morning feeling a million times better, and the doctor was able to squeeze me in two hours later. All in all, I feel like we've been really blessed that we were able to get started.
I'm a worrywart by nature and analyze everything. It honestly feels like I look for things to stress and worry about, so I've already made the decision to just let it be. Worrying about this cycle won't change the outcome, but it will make me a lot less happy. So I'm choosing to be optimistic, give it my best effort, and be hopeful that everything works out positively.
I was really open about sharing information on social media with our previous IVF cycle for a lot of reasons, the biggest one being it was the easiest way to keep our families in the loop since so many of them were emotionally invested with us and praying for us. This time, I've wanted it to be a little more private. There won't be a whole lot of updates, but I'm sure I'll share about the transfer and of course the outcome.
Prayers that I will respond positively to the medications, that we will have a favorable outcome, and that we will be mentally and emotionally "ok" whichever way this goes would be appreciated.
Here's to a sibling!
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